I showed him my bush... on skype.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
