actually, I'm a sock model
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
