He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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