Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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