The maid of honor just puked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
