so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
