I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
