? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
