I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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