make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
