So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
