I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
