Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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