so explain again why im purple
no
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
