and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
