The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
