Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
