I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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