VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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