i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
