I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You took a bar mat shot.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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