You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
