so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
