She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
