I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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