Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So squirting runs in the family.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
