I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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