You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
