I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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