vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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