booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
