they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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