Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
