I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
