Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She even gives head with a lisp.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
