Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
