just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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