I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
