went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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