Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
