He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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