It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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