He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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