This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
