In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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