We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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