i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
