organizing the empties. That sober.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
