im holly from the hills drunk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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