Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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