I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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